aequitascat

Becbec

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The World of Dreams by aequitascat, literature

Literature

The World of Dreams

We woke up into a world of dreams and the Earth fell apart around us. We walked into a garden in the sun and out of the pain of our lives. I picked at my scars from a lifetime of pain and bled a rainbow of feelings through the sky Numbness enters into blood and lungs ears and eyes, skin and bones. We escape from The Basement and enter the labyrinth, get lost in a world full of nothing. We all come back to The Basement though. It's safe there, and we feel at home. The Basement will be torn down soon as one by one we don't need to come back. Until that day we sit, and wait, and wait, and sit.

I am by aequitascat, literature

Lesson Learned by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Lesson Learned

she walks down the road to her childhood. sits there for awhile. and lets the world cry for her. just for a change. she has a beautiful green bottle of forgetting in her hand she drinks she won't drink enough she won’t let her self. she's wrapped in the comfort given by the last one to forget. it's warm, and she feels safe, and she feels at home, but it's not hers anymore. *** she hears the words of people who walked away before she met them. they got a head start on everyone else. she'll never find them, but she'll always remember the time they never shared. premature abandonment is a constant friend. the only o

Ideals by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Ideals

Idealists surround me. I've been crushed too many times to find comfort in ideals. They're no more help than a mirage in a desert. All they do is breed false hope in those who believe and give them strength to die fighting. I think I'd prefer to lay down and wait for the inevitable. quiet willing peaceful Let all the pain and fear and imperfections of this life be washed away. I'm ready to find out what comes next. It can't be much worse than what's here.

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without you by aequitascat, literature

Literature

without you

Somehow without you It doesn't matter where I am, Or who I'm with, I will always be alone. When you were near me, When your heart was Beating next to mine Nothing could hurt me. But then I let you go, Not wanting to give you The power to hurt me that much I hurt myself. Now I repeat this mistake With every man that crosses my Path, letting them love me, Then tearing our hearts out. I wonder if I'll ever learn To love without fear, Or pain, to love without Hurting you or me.

You by aequitascat, literature

Be mine by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Be mine

Summers, like splinters enter your mind. That madness, that first kiss at the end of the night. November, December, the months of despair with presents, and cocktails and lies in the air. "Do you like it?" "of course..." "Were you with him?" "no...." "Will you be mine?" forever and ever until the end of time? Sunshine and rainbows and bad dreams and your screams And will you be faithful? And will you be loyal? And will you And will you And. Will. You. And. Will. You.

Do You See Me? by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Do You See Me?

Sitting on a crowded train observing people passing by. Everyone carefully avoiding the eyes of everyone else. Even those who do see studiously avoid seeing Me. Teenage girl, dark hair converse shoes, pop-culture reference on her dark coloured t-shirt, headphones in ears, probably listening to death metal, plotting destruction, definitly on drugs... Their thoughts are obvious as they clutch their belongings closer, edge further away. The wall at the other end of the carriage is suddenly engrossing as I turn their way. They glance back a little later unable to keep their eyes off the freak. I can't help but laugh at their

Past, Present, Future by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Past, Present, Future

Past **** Your eyes slide over me and tell me that you love me. But you dont. It's just wishful thinking. Your arms are full of promises of comfort and protection. But you only give me pain. I should know better. Present ******* S

Patterns by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Patterns

You ruined the pattern the ring of scars around my heart It used to be perfect, symmetrical. Four pairs of pain to protect my heart from more. But you crept past my defences, you didn't see the scars. You saw Me, Unmarked, Unblemished, Untouched. Then you held me told me that you love me (or was it that I'm beautiful, the two sound so alike) But you left me wanting more. And maybe if I were braver you'd give me what I want. But I'm scared to let you further in. In case you notice how scarred I am. In case it scares you away. So I leave it, one more scar on my heart, but hopefully none on yours.

Can't by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Can't

I can't write. I can't feel. I can't sleep. I can't dream. I can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality. I can't stay awake 'til I can't fall asleep. I can't stop complaining about my perfectly fine life. I can't stop thinking about broken hearts and broken dreams. I can't eat. I can't work. I can't fool you. I can't get drunk. I can't stay sober. I can't be happy. I can't help but love you. I can't do anything but hope that you love me too. I can't tell my mum. I can't tell my dad. I can't pray. I can't get help, but I can't keep living like this.

Want Vs. Need by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Want Vs. Need

Do you really have to care? Life would be so much easier if you didn't. Either didn't care or care because you want to, not because you need to. If you didn't care I wouldn't have to worry about how you'll react to anything and everything I do. If you cared because you wanted to I wouldn't feel like I was a burden to you, like you wish you could be somewhere else, while I wish I could be someone else. My fondest dream, my deepest wish, is to be wanted, without being needed, to have someone want me to want them. Not want me to need them. Not need me to want them. Not need me to need them. Can you do that?

Once there was a little girl by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Once there was a little girl

Once there was a little girl who loved with all her heart. But her heart got ripped out and broken so many times she wasn't sure how to love anymore. Some days she'd look out her window and all she would see was the dark of the world, the pain and the hate, and the hope for a future that would never be. And all she would see were the weeds in the garden. Some days she'd look out her window just before she went to bed, and see the sunrise light up the world, and see the hope everyone else saw. And see the life in the weeds. Sometimes she'd look inside herself and she could see all the pain, the guilt, the damage done by others

Aftermath by aequitascat, literature

Literature

Aftermath

Pants around your knees tearing off band-aids Making new memories to hide from the past. The Sandman arrives at dawn, and life goes back to sleep. And he dies a little more in your mind. The stupid phoenix Always retuns though, Even if you want him gone. And the stars fight each other to see who will win. With pants around your knees You fall to the floor sometime in the past, And the carpet burn never heals, And the scars always bleed, And your eyes keep on crying, And you just can't say no anymore.

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Meerkat by aequitascat, visual art

Meerkat

aequitascat

About aequitascat

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Artist // Literature

Nov 1
Australia
Deviant for 15 years
She / Her

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My Bio

Current Residence: Australia
Favourite genre of music: All of them, except the ones I don't like
MP3 player of choice: ipod, or my phone, whatever I have that plays music really, I don't actually care

Favourite Movies

Boondock Saints

Favourite Bands / Musical Artists

Way too hard to pick just one, last time I tried I had a list of 15 before someone stopped me

Other Interests

The world and all the pieces that make it up.

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aequitascat

Jun 18, 2009

Memory

0 min read

I can't remember all the words I wanted to say to you. Every time I see your face, all those things I want to say about how we're bad for each other, and how we really shouldn't be doing this, they all just fade away. And then I'm left just standing there, in front of you, and all I can think of is how right it feels. I haven't seen you in months, but every time things get difficult, I just want to be wrapped in your arms, with you foul breath ticking my neck, and that smell that is uniquely you wrapped around me. The jumper of yours that I stole doesn't smell like you anymore, but it's all I have and it'll have to do. The music you listened

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aequitascat

Dec 15, 2008

to whom it may concern

0 min read

just a quick note to anyone who cares, I'm either going to post a lot more, or not post anything over the next couple of days because I'm rather stressed out since I got a death threat from an ex-boyfriend... That is all.

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aequitascat

Dec 14, 2008

Twilight rage

0 min read

I am so incredibly sick of hearing about Twilight. Everywhere I go, everything I do, it's there. It might just be my rather severe issues making me think it's worse than it is, but I know that if I had a young daughter, there is no way in hell I would let her read those books or watch the movie. The dynamics of the relationship between Edward and Bella actually scare me and make me feel physically ill. I con't write anymore about this... my brain might explode.